in a dilemma
im confused....seriously.. there are so many things going around in my mind.. dunno wat to do..
the big question is WHY?
why does this happen and why does that happen.. i no im talking rubbish..
anyways..nothing new.. sometimes i really wonder why cant everything be nice and simple and clear..there's an entire different world out there which we have to face.. and the truth is the sooner v learn to handle it the better.. i hav got a problem with all those chalu ppl and all those dishonest ones.. sach mein.. i hate chalu ppl.. and i hate it when they hurt someone.. its not that i never lie.. but i dont want to hurt anyone.. i'll start hating myself if i hurt someone someday.. some ppl telme .. i shudnt b too nice to everyone .. i mean they do care for me but the world is full of mean ppl who jus try to use you.. its true sometimes.. but cmon.. i still dont understand how do u differentiate who's good from inside and who's not! maybe this is a challenge.. a test.. understanding a human being is the toughest thing on earth.. i still havnt been able to understand myself.. wat should i do? i mean.. im studying to get into a good college.. to be successful.. but i do want to do something good for the ppl so that it helps someone.. its not that i want to be famous for helping or charity.. but something vich will help the ppl,the country.. maybe i should join civil service.. but then i get mean and self centred and think of a happy life for myself in vich i earn, eat, sleep and have fun.. ofcourse i want to see my parents happy and they want me to have a good life and so do my frenz.. but yea, they say... u can join the services and have a good life.. but my thoughts keep on changing.. sometimes i feel very strongly for the ppl when i see poverty, discrimination, hunger and other such things.. i feel like doing something and not just sit there and watch wats happening.. maybe i can help.. a small contribution.. with this thought i start studying .. even if i dontjoin the services , if i become an engineer or anything.. i 'll try to help... i hope this feeling never dies... coz as we grow older, v become more selfish and we keep on thinking wats best for us.. about our future.. u no, its important to make ur life but.. isnt it also important to help those who are in need and to serve humanity... im not saying jus for the heck of it.. these things keep cropping up in my mind.. trust me i really dunno wat i reallly want to do!!! and i guess only i can help myself... i'll think more about it.. after all its time to use my brains...
hmm.. i was reading some of my earlier posts which i rote long back.. and i was thinking.. all i talked about was about myself.. my life's like any other 17 yr old girl who goes to skool.. has dreams, and wants to work to fulfill her dreams and loves to dream.. i totally love day dreaming.. yes, i do..
a very happy independence to all of you.. i no its very late.. but better late than never.. 15th august.. a very important day for indians.. our independence day! 60 years of independence.. isnt it amazing hw our leaders got independence for our country or jus imagine.. v wud have been under the british.. seriously.. life without independence is so worthless..
oh.. and im in the hindi editorial board of my school.. hindi, our national language is somehow losing its importance.. again WHY!! why are v becoming like the ppl in the west.. y are v aping the west.. but hindi is still used by millions in our country and its one amazing language.. mast hai ekdum.
since this is one really important year for me.. its a do or die kind of thing.. so i need to work much harder..so already i hav stopped wasting my time in many timepass type things .. like the tv... wel.. there's nothing on the tv.. coz my parents refused to take tata sky coz they think i'll not study and tv is one major timepass... and guess wat? my phone is not really with me.. as in.. its in another room so i dont really talk to ppl.. i used to talk for hours!! i cant stop talking... i love talking.. i dunno hw i survived being away from the phone and the tv.. and i come online for sometime.. not much as i used to.. and yea.. i dont roam about much these days.. so i have become a good bacha :).. bohut padhna hai yaaar!!! there are only a few months left....oh shit, i have 2 tests this week.. i have to complete packages, supplementaries.. electrostatics, aldehydes ketones, lcd.... mar gaye!
ok.. enough of my bak bak
so bye..
peace!
posted by kasturi @ 2:54 am
2 Comments:
phew .. kasturi .. well ok i m readin it after so many ages .. well first of all .. noone is bad in this world .. there are just ppl who behave differently in diff situations .. life is literally 2 short for carin bout stuff like y n wht did he do ?? b a free bird .. do wht u want 2 do .. without hurtin others .. there ws a gud sayin " forgive ur enemies nth frustates them more " i noe da feelin wht u talkin bout .. but once a friend forever one .. !no matter wht ..
the very fact that u want help the nation matters .. par phele u need 2 become smt for dat .. hu said engineers cant help ?? start an ngo .. be big enuf to start one ..
n i swear hindi ke imp is dwindling .. but isnt it bcoz of us?? who perfer studyin n talkin in eng over hindi ??
tc ..
i cant write more .. i ll call i guess ..!
i just randomly came across this blog... a fantabulous presentation of ur thoughts in words!
all the best!
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